I get wrapped up in the Lord's blessings--I freak out trying to make sure that I am not holding them too tightly and idolizing them, while also freaking out that I don't enjoy them enough. Basic principle: I overthink. Fortunately, after a day of overthinking, my fabulous roommate read me a C.S. Lewis quote on longings and how they prove to us that we are made for another world. And so I thought some more (surprise, surprise) and really just feel that the Lord is saying, "Chill. Enjoy what I have given you." By worrying about how my sin would interact with the Lord's blessings, I was sinning (yet again).
The blessings He gives me and the longings and struggles they create in me are just one more piece of evidence that I am not made for this world. This life is but a fleeting millisecond in the span of eternity. The Lord's blessings should remind me to eagerly anticipate eternity with Him and my brokenness in the midst of those blessings should remind me of my desperate need of Him.
I still feel like an emotional wreck. I'm still freaking out. Now I'm just emotional and freaking over the magnificence of my Savior and not the depravity of my soul. Hallelujah for the Holy Spirit living in me, for Christ interceding for me, and for the Father having mercy on me!
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