11/29/10-11/29/11: Changes

Tonight I was prompted to think of all the things that have happened in my life since last November 29th and it is an odd sensation. Perhaps it strikes me more since I am graduating in 23 days and I feel like I'm coming into the person I will be for the rest of my life (this probably should have happened earlier ;D ). Maybe it's this odd thought I have that I don't need anybody or anything else in my life to stay completely satisfied forever. I've changed this year, I feel it. Maybe not outwardly but I am a different person inside.

This year I've been unable to heal the hurts of people I love. I've seen what love is and what it is not. I've put myself "out there" in many areas of my life and risked failing in bigger ways than before. I've learned/shaped the role I will take in my family as we go forward. I've felt a sense of exponentially increasing independence from my family and home, concurrent with an ever-increasing sense of a unified front with them (that makes no sense, I'm sure). I've taken giant leaps towards my career calling and realized that I will need to seriously work at not being a workaholic because I'm going to love it. I've drawn up images and goals in my mind of where I want myself to be physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally  in the decades beyond my twenties and thirties.

Perhaps I've got this new sense of life beyond "me." I've been so stuck on the "get to career" images and dreams that I'm just now beginning to see beyond. I'm beginning to challenge myself in a what will I do with my life type of way rather than what will I do with my useful years. What will I do with my life in the years beyond what society calls "useful" for my life?? What can I do now to challenge my brain and soul so that when the day comes I can still be a warrior of righteousness despite my failing body??

I'm just getting older, and that's good. . . most of the time.

A list

No deep mind-wanderings tonight just a list of the "lately" things:

1. It was a superb Thanksgiving. I celebrated with 73 of my closest family. 73 almost turned into 74 as my cousin contracted her way through the afternoon festivities (but alas, 74 has yet to make his appearance [that I've heard of]). M's foot got run over by the enormous trailer being pulled for the hayride (no broken bones [that I know of]). Those are the highlights. Oh, and the food. . . but even better, the leftovers that should last me through exams.
2. ALL of the Wingate homestead's Christmas decorations are up!!! I do believe it is a record--less than 48 hours after Thanksgiving.
3. Christmas music. Be still my soul.
4. A new antibiotic. OH, did I mention that as of this morning I can't hear out of my right ear at all?? Thus, new antibiotic!!
5. Clemson lost (self-explanatory).
6. 26 days until graduation
7. Apartment Christmas decorating tomorrow!!!
8. STUDY!!! FOCUS!!! EYE ON GOAL LINE!!!! EXAMS!!!

Night, friends! Happy Sabbath tomorrow!

Family Time!!!

I have another sinus infection and a lot of fluid in my ears. And it hurts. My teeth, my head, my ears, my throat, my neck, my lungs, ugh. But, TOMORROW I will be with my family and my mama can take care of me!!!
I am on a good antibiotic and some good hydrocodone cough syrup (which did make for an interesting presentation in one of my classes today--I just went ahead and prefaced it with, "I'm on hydrocodone cough syrup right now, so bear with me." Got a laugh. It was good.), both of which should get me better sooner rather than later!
I am so so so ready for a break.
And guess what!?!?!?!? 30 days to graduation!!!!!!!!!

Wingate Slumber Party

One week from tomorrow is Thanksgiving. For most of you it will be a pleasant, quiet family affair with stomachs overfilled with turkey, naps, football games, maybe the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. On the other hand, my family does it the crazy way. There will be 100+ of us, there will be barbecue, there will be little to no rest, etc. The interesting thing this year is that with the addition of members to the immediate family the sleeping arrangements get tricky (side note: only the immediate fam stays at the farm, everyone else comes and goes the day of). So, here's the officially official rooming situation: me, my sister and bro-in-law, and my brother and sis-in-law will all be in one room. Albeit only for 2 nights, we are having a Wingate kid slumber party (as my bro-in-law called it)! I can't decide who should be more put out, the couples or me??? But, no one is really put out at all and it will be yet another notch in the Thanksgiving Adventures tree.
We are hoping and praying that the moody septic tank holds out for us because it needs to "Dumpit to Crumpit" for 12 people for 4 days and 100+ for one day. Time to go call Johnny on the Spot. 

A Not-So-Sabbathy Tuesday

So, my forced relaxation referenced in the previous post was actually due to an awfully sore throat and tired body. I really and truly did enjoy my Monday Sabbath but it became a Not-so-Sabbathy Tuesday. That little cold became a monster around 3:45 this morning when I woke up to daggers in my throat and lots of chills. 2 cough drops, 2 advil, and 45 minutes later I slipped back into the land of unconsciousness. I awoke at 10:30---apparently I turned off my 8 am alarm and thus, missed my 9 o'clock class (not really so sad). I scrambled and made it to my 11 am physics class (not looking so hot), and got through it on 3 more cough drops, a jug of water and only some mild hacking! I made my way back home and returned to bed with a book and didn't get out until  5 pm with the book done. :) If only the entire day/afternoon hadn't been spent tearing off blankets and putting them back on and switching sides so either ear didn't get too pressurized. Currently I am studying for my midterm I have promptly at 9 o'clock in the morning (no sleeping in, here) and then I will push my body through my History of Country Music class (soo hard) and come back and collapse into bed for the rest of the day. Hallelujah for a chill rest-of-the-week!!!

And then it's Thanksgiving!
And then Graduation (in 36 days)!!!
And then Christmas!!!
And then bye-bye 2011 and HELLOOOOO 2012!!!!!

Monday Sabbath

Clean room. Good book. Wonderful roommates. Only an hour spent in my second-to-last physics lab. Only 19 assignments and 37 days left in my college career. Hope. Joy and Laughter at the days to come. Peace. Pancakes for dinner. "I'll be Home for Christmas" and possibly a few tears of excitement and anticipation for that. Understanding of class material. Crazy professor being nice. No tv. Free kindle books from library. 

It's been one of those days that revives the soul. A Sabbath. A day of focused quiet and peace. What was to be a normal, crazy Monday was captured by the Lord and turned into a Sabbath. A day of not striving, fixing, and pursuing but rather sitting, reading, being quiet and still, and experiencing the Lord's pursuit of my heart and mind. It was Heavenly! 

Last Game at Death Valley as a Student

Coming up on Saturday: The first of the major Lasts!!! :-) and :-(

I hope Clemson beats Wake! I KNOW it will be a fun day with many family and friends coming into town. 

My apartment will be full with 3 of my former roommates and all my current roommates. I'm meeting the newest boyfriend of the clan, which I am thrilled about!! 

I love Clemson, I've loved my time here, I've loved the people here, and I will love claiming my alumni status!!

6 weeks from today I will officially be an alumni!!! **But only 5 weeks 'til I am DONE!!!!**

Hope y'all have awesome weekend plans to come!! . . . And stay warm!!

He Provides

Guess What?!?!?!?!?

I have great news!!!

It starts with "J" and ends with "ob."

No interview yet. In fact, I've been rolled to regular admissions--sadly. But at the same time I am super-duper excited about this job. I never thought I would be this excited about this "interim" job. The Lord provides indeed.

Woot woot!!!

Still here . . .

I'm still sitting here. . . checking my email every five seconds with bated breath. . . hoping for an interview invite. . . waiting. . . praying. . . etc.

There are a few things I've realized throughout this "process" (i.e. waiting game):

First, I'm an impatient person. My parents have Everyone's been telling me this for years but I never knew how bad I was until now. EESH. When I make up my mind that I want something I'm pretty one-track minded about it (such a fault), and this has been no exception. I do believe the Lord has me exactly where He wants me.

Second, I want to be a PA very badly. I've realized that even if I have to go through this process 2, 3, maybe 4 more times. . . I will. I am called to do this. My gifts and abilities line up with this profession. I'm excited to serve people through this profession. And I will wait on the Lord's timing, even if it isn't just days or weeks.

Third, I will have a great 2012 even if I am not in Charleston and in PA school! Now, 2011 may have a crappy ending but I will make myself have fun working as a phlebotomist, taking trips, and enjoying a forced breather from school for once (I haven't had a summer off since I started college).

Finally, I'm realizing that it might be wise if I fill every minute of every day while I'm engaged and then again when I'm pregnant. If I'm not good at waiting on a grad school acceptance, I'm going to be really, really bad at waiting on a wedding day to arrive or a baby to finish cooking. EESH. Hallelujah that sanctification is a continuous thing!!

Wait for the Lord

Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"

Psalm 37:7 "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. . . "

I'm waiting. Waiting and being still in the Lord's plans and not my own.

Dinner

Last night I made (with lots of help) an amazing dinner and we had friends over. I love entertaining. I love having people leave my house with full stomachs. I love hospitality. And I love just hanging out and enjoying time together.

So, here's my menu. You should try all these recipes--they're ALL amazing!
BBQ meatballs
Homemade Yeast Rolls (actually, it was the Texas Roadhouse recipe--Can you say good??)
Squash Casserole
Green beans
Giada's Parmesan Mashed Potatoes
Apple Pie (Courtesy of Mrs. Smith's)
Ice Cream (Courtesy of Breyer's)

The real hits were the rolls and the meatballs!! I used 5 lbs of ground beef to make those meatballs---SO much MEAT!! A complete COMFORT FOOD meal!! No doubt about it!!!