Today I was overcome with thoughts of what I did in a situation and what I could have done instead. My behavior definitely affected the rest of my life story. I was overcome with sadness, just a deep longing to go back in time and do things differently. Why did I act like that? Why did I say those things? Why did the person react that way? Could I do anything right now to change the outcome? If I had acted differently would that have changed anything anyway?
I was listening to my Ipod while driving as these thoughts pervaded my mind and "My Father's World" came on and I was struck by how much my life and history and future are in the Father's hands. He has set my path ahead of me, he knows my future and nothing I can do and no way I can act can screw that up. What a blessing! What a comfort! What a joy! The Lord has plans for me, and in all things he will work to draw me closer to him.
Interestingly, one of the next few songs was "Back in June" by Matt Wertz. One line says, "I can't change the ending, And I don't want to change your mind. I've learned lessons in the mending, And I've made it through just fine." And that's true. I can't change the outcome and it was hard for a while, but I've made it through, not only fine, but better. The Lord had this in his plans for me, it's drawn me to him, and I'm resting in his leadership and plan for my life.
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